It has been about 6 months since we took the leap of faith to move from Colorado to Arkansas, and nearly 1 year since God put the move on our hearts. The move was exiting when it was an idea (well, for me at least), stressful when we began the house search - it was SO hard to find a landlord willing to rent to us moving from out of state - and we began to wonder if we would have to find something short-term and search once we moved here! God is a faithful God though and where He guides He provides. The home we rented originally did not allow dogs over 25 lbs (less than ½ our dogs sizes) but God nudged me to apply for it anyways. We got the house and began planning the logistics for the move itself, and navigated a bunch of family drama during that time. The week of the move was scary, stressful, and exciting all at once. Andrew and I packed and loaded the moving truck and trailer by ourselves in a little over a day while wrangling our two children. As we had planned, Andrew drove the moving truck and left about an hour before I did (at 2:30am Easter Sunday) to start unloading some of the boxes and get as much as possible done before the kids and I got there. I loaded the kids in their seats, coaxed the dogs in with much reassurance that the trailer was not going to suddenly get in their way, and put the last little bit of our belongings into the car as we set out. It was an emotional morning for me. In the chaos of the move I didn’t stop to appreciate all the “lasts” we just blew through. The last time we would look out our front window to Longs Peak. The last time we would have dinner in the home we raised our children in - the one Emma was created in and brought home to, the only home Hannah knew, the only home Amelia remembers, the first HOME Andrew and I had built together- the last trip to Kroger (a shock to me). There was a huge wave of sadness that crashed over me at 3:30 in the morning that Sunday and I could feel the weight of the emotions start to pull me into a spiral. Then I felt Jesus take my hand and remind me why we were moving. The people we were surrounded with were not Godly people, the area we lived in was not where we wanted our children to be raised. He called us out of the land of Egypt and returned us to the land of our fathers (specifically, my husband’s father) so we could live to the glory of Christ.
Now, before I get a bunch of comments about Godly people living in Colorado - YES, there ARE Godly people in Colorado. There are Godly people in the Boulder area. The problem was not that they did not exist, not even that they were a minority, but that we did not interact with them. We spent our days working and our nights recovering. We did not go out into the community and stand boldly in Christ. We were struggling with our purpose, we felt drowned out by the pagan culture surrounding us, and we could never seem to find peace until we left the state. I applaud the people who are standing boldly in Christ and proclaiming His glory to the lost souls of that state. I would love to support you, if you are reading this! Obviously, these issues did not magically go away when we moved. Arkansas is not a Christian-only state. There are Pagans, Jews, Buddhists, Catholics, Agnostics, Atheists, and so on. BUT! There are more self-proclaimed Christians per capita than we are used to. People didn’t shudder when we replied with “You as well. God bless.” when told to have a nice day. We found more churches in a few blocks than we had in the entire city we lived in. We are intelligent in the Bible, but we lacked confidence in Christ to combat our surroundings. We need a little bit of hand-holding, if you will. We had a much larger financial obligation in Colorado than we do in Arkansas. We had more temptation in Colorado than we have had in Arkansas. We were not in a church in Colorado. We found one almost immediately upon settling here in Arkansas. We almost immediately dove into serving the church. Once we started serving in church, we started serving more than just at church. We needed a solid and consistent place to land on when things crashed and burned. We joke about our ministry being constant failures to His glory because so many times in the past we have jumped in completely and obeyed and a few months later we are led on a different path. Most of that is because we “fell out of” His plan (I don’t believe this is fully possible, but more on that later), but we now have somewhere to start from even when we fail. If nothing else this move has provided a “square 2” to start back from.
This move has clearly done so much more than just providing us a small platform to land on when we fall - it has provided us with so many opportunities to grow. We are not close to family. We have to work as a team, communicate, learn to appreciate the little moments we have together, and we have learned how special it is to miss family. (We saw my family at least once a month, often once or twice a week and always had them watch the girls for date nights, work meetings, etc.) We have learned to lower our expectations, to dream bigger, to not stop at planning but to actually accomplish things (i.e. this blog!) and we have learned to stop identifying ourselves with worldly labels but find our identity in Christ. We have learned to wait on His timing, to lean on Him, to put our trust in Him alone, to set boundaries, to remove boundaries, we have learned humility, and most importantly - we have learned a little bit more about the love of Jesus.
We have been here nearly six months and I have felt homesick one time, and it was just last week. When we moved to Arkansas the last time I felt homesick after just a month or so. I had a breakdown at the Little Rock Zoo when I saw the Grizzly bear and thought about “home”. This time I got homesick when thinking about fall. Fall has started in Colorado, the leaves will be changing in the next week or two, if they haven’t already, and Estes will be buzzing with people driving through Rocky Mountain National Park to watch the Aspens change. The weather is cooling off, mostly at night, and the air is turning crisp. It’s the time of year when you wear a sweater in the morning and a tank top in the afternoon. It’s a frustrating time of year for that reason, but I am beginning to miss it. It’s still in the 90’s here in Northwest Arkansas, humid (although not like June and July were), and there are minimal signs of fall in nature - the neighborhood (myself included) is ready with the pumpkin and Razorback football decor. I’m not a football person so I only participate in the harvest decor. Maybe in years to come that will change? (Not likely) I have hope for October to bring in fall, however our bible study thinks that is ambitious. This is not boding well for this cold-weather loving homebody over here. Regardless, this is our home now and - Lord willing - will be for many years. We are starting the process of buying a home our first home - hopefully our forever home - before this lease is up. Please be praying for us as we trust the Lord with His timing, His provision, and His shelter. We appreciate you all and cannot wait to update you on this house hunting and how we make it through our first full year in Arkansas!
Thank you and God Bless!
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